Blonde Ambition

I called in yesterday to my full time job. I was going to go in, but when I went to leave, the roads were pretty much a sheet of ice. I hate driving in the ice.

As I skidded to a stop at the stop sign, I thought about the articles that were waiting for me to write. I thought about how much more enjoyable it would be to turn around and go back home. I could sit in front of the computer with my dog at my side, and I could write, write, write.

So I did.

And it was worth it. I had a pretty productive day. I wrote five articles yesterday, and I took a nap.

I could get used to that.

Since I was downsized from my part time job, I have realized how much I could get used to the writing life. I’m not quite where I want to be with it, but I’m slowly inching my way there.

I’ve also had personal issues come up where it would come in handy to be able to work from home. So it is definitely something worth considering for the near future.

Every once in awhile, if you listen with your heart, I think you can hear the Universe talking to you.

Thirteen years ago, I started dating a man that I loved deeply. We had dated before, but due to circumstances beyond our control, it didn’t work out. A couple years after that, we were given another chance to make it work.

I ended up pregnant immediately.

I’ll admit, at first it was an “Oh, sh*t” moment. But I soon realized that it was the Universe telling me, “Here…don’t screw this up”. Even though we are no longer married, he is still a wonderful father and I know I am lucky to have had children with him.

Now, thirteen years later, the Universe has once again spoken.

I have been wishy-washy about quitting my part time job to see what I can do with my writing. It’s something I’ve always wanted, but have dragged my feet on. I have multiple resources available to me, and several people telling me that I can do it and be successful. But still I hesitated.

Until this week.

This week, I found out that they will be closing the doors to my part time job in less than two weeks. So my choices are to either find another part time job to fill the financial void, or actually follow my heart and start writing.

I’m going to follow my heart. I’m also going to listen with my heart…because if I’m quiet enough, I can hear the Universe telling me in that mysterious way…

“Here, don’t screw it up.”

Maybe I’m just having one of my moods, but I’m seriously beginning to question whether publishing on the web is beneficial to me and where I want to go with my writing.

I have written for Associated Content since January. I loved it at first. It was a giddy feeling to see my first byline…anywhere. And the turnaround was quick…it was a few days max before something I submitted was paid for and published.

The pay was small. Even being new to the scene, I knew that the pay was small.

But I still loved it there.

I’m not going to be one of those writers who complains and whines about not being appreciated for their pure writing genius. I’m not a great web content writer, I know this. My numbers reflect this. I’m not horrible, but I’m not great either.

But I’m starting to wonder if I’m just wasting my time writing online. Especially since places like AC and Helium are starting to disappoint me. And especially since what I really want is to see my byline in a magazine…at least until I get my great novel published.

I’m not foolish enough to think I can jump right in to getting published in a magazine. But I think if I start learning what I need to know and what they look for now while I’m not dependent on what I make with my writing, it would give me a jump start when I’m ready to start my freelancing career full time.

So I think I may take a brief hiatus from AC, and definitely Helium, and start submitting queries to print magazines.

I have also been thinking about signing up for Writers Market. If any readers have any feedback on that, I’d love to hear it.

A very good friend of mine decided this weekend that she is giving her notice on her job so she can get started on her career. Her writing career.

Sigh…why can’t that be me?

Oh wait! It can be me. I just have to make the decision to do it. I’ll be honest. I’m not ready to go full-time with it yet.

But quitting my part-time job to write in the evenings is so close it has me salivating. I talked to my SO tonight (thanks for the lead-in, Rissa). He said it was my choice.

When I asked if he would support me, he said, “What do you mean?”

You gotta love him. He thought I meant support as in, “You pay for everything while I sit on my ass all day and type.” He doesn’t realize that writers can make money.

That’s my fault, I guess. I have told him about my writing gigs so far where I don’t really make a lot of money.

I clarified that by support I meant emotional support…a cheerleader. Rah! Rah! Rah!

That, he can do.

I am going to wait until after Christmas to give my notice…I think…if I can hold out that long. I keep telling myself the extra money would come in handy for Christmas. And I would still like to sell an article to a magazine first so I feel validated in quitting.

But I officially have his support, so the rest is up to me now.

Crikey.

I mean…really, really nice. Sheesh.

He bought me a new car to drive. Now I ask you…how could I tell him I wanted to quit my part time job after he went and did that? It would seem so…ungrateful.

And it wasn’t just that he did that. He also put buying his new truck on hold so I could have this one, which is a much better and safer winter car than what I was driving.

I know there’s some women out there who think they have the best, but I’m telling you…you just don’t get any better than my guy.

So, this is what I’ve decided to do. I’m going to keep writing, as much as I can, in my spare time. I’m going to make as much money as I can, in addition to working my two jobs. I’m also going to get at least one magazine article published…preferably a good paying article. Then I will present him with a fact-filled, “this is just a sample of what I can make”, presentation and go from there.

Besides, if I can hold on until the end of the year, it will just be that much more money I’ll have for Christmas.

I have made a momentous decision. Well, it’s actually a prelude decision to the momentous decision.

I am going to talk to my significant other this weekend about quitting my part time job to write. After giving it a lot of thought, I have decided that this would make me extremely happy. I’ll still have my full-time job for insurance (for now), but by quitting my part-time job, I’ll have those few hours in the evening to devote to writing in the comfort of my home.

I just need to convince him to give me his support. I love him very much. I know he loves me. But, he doesn’t “get” the whole writing thing. To him, it’s a hobby. It’s not a money maker.

I realized that if I were single, I would have quit already. I am notorious in my family for jumping into things with barely a toe test. Now, when it’s something that is important to me, I end up dragging my feet.

Why?

But I’m determined now. And when determination kicks in, I will bulldoze my way to get to what I want.

Poor thing…he doesn’t even know it’s coming.

A few weeks ago, I paid my entry fee to enter a 24 hour short story writing contest. I got the lead from Accentuate Writer’s Forum where I am a member.

The contest starts today. At noon (central time), when the contest officially starts, they will give the theme and word count. Even though I am a novice writer, I figured the odds were a little more even considering the fact that everyone has only 24 hours to come up with their idea, write, edit and submit their entry before the deadline.

At least, that’s what I’m hoping.

I work well under pressure. It comes from a lifetime of being a procrastinator. I’m very good at procrastinating.

I figure, if you find something you’re good at, you might as well stick with it.

I’m excited about this contest. I think it will be a lot of fun, even if I don’t win. I think what will make it even more fun is that there are a few other members of the forum who have entered also. We can stress it out together.

The contest is limited to 500 entries. I liked that part of it too. I need all the help I can get, and if that cuts back a little on the competition, then that’s even better.

As long as inspiration strikes me when I get the theme, I think I’ll do okay. I may not win, but I shouldn’t embarass myself either. I’ve learned quite a bit since joining Accentuate.

Wish me luck!